i have always been grateful for and proud of
the friendships i have managed to cultivate
with extremely cool individuals

like, back at university, i somehow made friends
with the most outstanding poet on campus
who wore silk shirts and wrote about jazz

and i was barhopping with that guy, Adrian,
one night, and we dropped in at the dance club
just to see the most gorgeous girl we knew

her name was Fontini, a teacher-to-be
she came over as soon as we made the spot
and, “Heeeey Fontini!” says Adrian

real slick, you know, like a 90’s Fonzarelli
me? unconscionably, unthinkably, uncoooool-ly
i go in for the hug

i mean here’s the most desired young woman there is
wearing dance duds, her whole torso exposed
and sweatily brown and muscled and beautiful

and here’s me, aka some dude, coming straight at her
with my arms gropingly out to touchy touch her
of course she recoiled and cried out!

Adrian wrote a poem about it later
said I “bout got crowned with her Heineken”
called the poem Epic Fail

Tale Weaver: …epic fail…